One night, I sat in my car outside my own house with the engine off, not quite ready to go inside. The night before, I had shouted at my two kids for not going to bed on time. It didn’t call for shouting, and I wasn’t proud of myself. That’s usually when the question turns up. So what makes a good father, really? Not the version printed on the card. The version you can hold yourself against on an ordinary Tuesday. After years of getting this wrong in front of witnesses, here’